Sadness with Smiles at the Loss of Four Friends (#1Ben)
Posted: Wednesday, April 23, 2008
by Kimberly
http://kimberlyinChance.blogspot.com
My husband and I are at an age where we are seeing more and more of our
friends passing
away. I was actually looking forward to 2008 and starting a
whole new beginning with the approaching New Year. Unfortunately things don't
always work out to our liking and the end of 2007 entering into 2008 was a far
cry of how I had envisioned our new year to begin. In four months my husband and
I have lost four dear friends. All have their own unique story. All had their
own unique way of making us smile at the end.
The first to pass in this seemingly, impossible list was Ben. He was my
husbands best, and dearest friend for over 35 years. They had a unique
friendship in that they never socialized at each others homes. They were both
focused, workaholics and that in itself gave them endless conversations about
business, money matters, and real estate investments. Ben was worth millions of
dollars, but you would never know it with his flannel shirts and faded jeans. He
would complain that the rubber bands he used on his money would melt and then
laugh out loud that everyone should have such problems. He always had an
unlit cigar in his mouth and invented the words, certified
pre-owned when speaking about his vehicles.
Ben was tall and good looking with black curly hair and an amazing smile.
He and his wife still lived in the same house that they raised their three grown
children in. He didn't buy the big, expensive home to show the world that he was
a success. He didn't need to.
At the end of 2006 Ben had awoken to find his neck was swollen which
made it very difficult for him to breathe. When the reports came back that he
had throat cancer, you would have never known he had just been given such
devastating news. He just took things in stride. My husband never thought for a
moment that cancer would stop his good friend from doing all the things that he
always did. My husband was right. Ben never even missed one session of
racquetball while he went through the chemotherapy treatments.
Soon, Ben started regaining his good health. The sighs of relief we all
felt when Ben announced that he was cancer free can not be described. He
was back looking and acting exactly the same as before this nightmare began. His
thick, curly black hair already made it's appearance atop his head.
During this time, Ben decided to splurge. He got tired of having to turn
his TV on with a screwdriver and decided it was time to go out and get that
brand new big screen TV that most others have long since owned. He told my
husband, he was tired of being cheap and was finally going to buy himself
something of luxury. You can imagine my husbands laughter when Ben came back
from the electronics store to ask if he could borrow his truck? He stated, "Can
you believe that they want $25.00 to deliver ?"
Good health faded fast, after we got the devastating news that the cancer
had returned. Although he didn't appear discouraged, being asked to sign papers
for the clinical studies had to have taken it's toll on him.
At the beginning of November Ben had stated that he felt good enough to go
visit his kids in California. He told my husband that all of his medical records
were to be sent there just in case things turned for the worse. He was going
to visit through the Thanksgiving Holiday.
When Thanksgiving came and went I got a very uneasy feeling. I just felt
like Ben would have gotten in touch with us before then, but this was the
holiday season and people stayed busy. On the morning of December 18, 2007 I
missed a call and noticed caller ID showed Ben's name. I immediately called my
husband to see if Ben had driven to his business. He said no and we both
rationalized that Ben had mistakenly called our home number instead of the usual
work number. As I hung up the phone, I just knew that wasn't so.
Not more then an hour after that phone call Ben's Jeep came pulling into
our lot. Ben's two son's came out of the vehicle to give us the news that Ben
had passed. They jokingly laughed that Ben talked nonstop of my husband and how
alike they were in money matters, work ethic and their conservative ways. I
truly believe Ben knew that saying goodbye in early November was going to be
his final farewell to his longtime friend.
In hindsight Ben gave my husband and I a very good laugh after his passing.
For thirty five years he was known to us as "Big Ben"! We had no reason to
believe anything else. That is until we got to the cemetery. As my husband knelt
down to place some melted rubber bands on the make shift marker he noticed
that Ben wasn't named Ben at all. His name didn't even come close. His first
name was Werner and his middle name was Joseph. We just looked at each other
and laughed. We truly miss you Ben and may you always rest in eternal
peace.
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